Posted by: Deanna | August 12, 2007

Dayna’s Driving Advise

Dayna has been living in Orlando for a little over a year now. When she got her driver’s license and started driving on a regular basis it was in our little hick town. Getting used to driving in a big city has proven to be interesting for her. Following are her observations that she would like to tattoo on part of the population’s foreheads…
If you can’t follow these simple rules, then you should not be driving!
1. Red means stop, green means go.
2. If you can not talk and drive, get off the damn the phone.
3. When turning, use your blinker, I do believe most cars have them.
4. In relation to the above statement, use the corresponding blinker with the corresponding turn .
5. If while driving you hear this really annoying clicking noise, look down, it’s probably your blinker you left on from the turn you made about 5 minutes ago (thanks for using the blinker, but now people are just thinking you’re a dumbass).
6. If after 10 minutes you’re still sitting at the left turn light wondering why it has not changed, move up a couple inches, you aren’t on the sensor and everyone behind you is extremely pissed off.
7. If you’re waiting to turn, and the car coming toward you looks to be going too fast to turn in front of, it probably is. Therefore, don’t turn in front of it, unless you enjoy getting honked at, flipped off, and cut off in a matter of a few seconds.
8. Most houses come equiped with driveways, use them!
9. If I’m already going 10 miles over the speed limit and you’re still riding my ass, you better back off before I slam on my brakes and make you hit me.
10. On that note, if the speed limit is 45, don’t go 35, you’re making a lot of people mad.
11. Please do not brake randomly! It’s really annoying and makes you look like a moron!
12. If there is no stop sign DO NOT FRIGGIN STOP!!!!!!!!
13. Do not stop 3 bus lengths behind the car in front of you at a stop light (this really annoys me).
14. It has been tested, and the results are in…it is impossible to come to a complete stop in order to make a turn! Don’t try it, I promise it doesn’t work.
15. You can not drive in 2 lanes, I’m sorry you just can’t.
16. If a car is a mile ahead of you and they just happen to brake, please to not slam on your own brakes. I think you’re being a little too cautious…you jackass
17. Is it really necessary to come flying up on my ass, procceed to get infront of me just to slam on your damn brakes to get into the left hand turn lane??? Dumbass.
That is all I have for now, more to come, probably sooner than later.

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